Amazing Paati (contd)

"Indian coffee!!" Paati would proudly refer to the pazhaya satham kanji and thats enough to send my mind on a road trip from Madras to Shimla, kadayam or Aravankadu. She would describe her routine prior to marriage (which was when she was 13). Her mother made her draw the kolam, clean the house and sit and do math tables. If she outdid all her sisters, her dad would open a small wooden cupboard and give her a square of "english chocolate". In the afternoon her mother would have found pieces of cloth for the sisters to sticth, and only then were they given their mid-morning meal. I was ashamed at my 13 year old self.

This was a "routine", and Paati's life was full of routines. Paati would also recall as to how during her time mother and daughter were pregnant at the same time. Its just another routine mid-wifing and child rearing. While dosas were a luxury, the pregnant women of the house alone got big dosas made out of "nalla-ennai". Then there were stories across the country, on how cold Shimla was that she had to be given a "thee kayam" when she was born and how she managed an entire household in Calcutta with just 30 rupees and she herself being just 18. Incidents that demand atleast significant amount of great grieving, like how they lost the T.Nagar Coats road house, next to the present ugly GRT thanga maligai (am sure its worth several crores now), gave away their Sion house in Mumbai gracefully and how her husband was cheated at his work were told nonchalantly, with an air of practicality. It was her nature to not be emotional over wealth. She just had to feed everyone who was under the shelter, be it her own children, her sisters' children or a distant far-away relative.

The trams that run across Madras, my thatha's routine (whom none of the grandchildren have met), his way of life, the summer trips to Veeravanallur thirunelveli district, her mom's house, along with a minimum of six children (if they had six children, she got a free ride as a guardian) set me fascinated. Chithra pournami at the Sashtha kovil which was set in the interior of a thoppu and considered dangerous to travel on your own and Thenkasi Sivarathri celebrations sounded truly exotic. During the nine-day navarathri all the "kanya pongal" would kummi around a center kolam at the agraharam, made me want to live in Chenkottai or Sundarapandipuram (Since she described veeravanallur as dry). She would re-call marriages, teach the origin of customs, basics of theetu-pathu, her idea of astrology etc. She can beat an IIM-MBA without even a high school degree. The way she would describe food at her house, aah thats a whole story altogether. It would make my mouth water even if I had had a full three course meal just a few minutes earlier. There were aluminium tins always filled with murukku, thatai and cheedai and children back from school would run straight to it. And then the thinagai maavu urundai. I dont think I liked the palm sugar stuff half as much as I did when she described it.
This is how I wasted my study holidays during college listening to innumberable stories rendered with the most amazing details and right emotions, post the 3:00P.M coffee break.

I dont think she lived an opulent life in the least. But I think its her practicality, acceptance and more than that cheerfulness that gave it the wealth. She would describe money management, losing her husband (whom she completely doted on), getting her girls married with the bare minimum that she had, without sentiments or emotion. Thats how life is. What was important was to not lose your spirit or your "routine", in other words, the discipline.

Well, its three hours since I read "The toss of a lemon" and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Being brought up by my maternal grandmom, a strict widow herself and the house run like any other Iyer household, I could totally relate to it. The blog is a result of gushing memories of paati.