You have been inside me for exactly 18 weeks now and I want to share this with you. You bring me joy every day in ways I never imagined (and you haven’t even started kicking yet).
Let me honest with you. You are a surprise child. No, to be precise the appearance of the second line on the pregnancy test was more of a shock to us. You came with our Singapore welcome package. You are our second child and hopefully our last. I understand you are born to be a girl. You are the 4th girl on your mum’s side and the 3rd girl on your dad’s side skewing all gender ratios to girls. To be honest, not everyone in your extended family is thrilled when they learnt your gender.
But I am. I am overwhelmed with joy. I had tears when I heard your heartbeat. I know you will change my life in ways I will never understand now. I am looking forward to it. There are two more people who are a bit more thrilled than me. Your sister and your father. Your sister has already started planning her life with you. To be precise she is pretending that she is already living with you. Quick warning - she is going to be a handful, but I am quite confident you will figure things out.
So that’s our family. Here are somethings that I want you to remember:
· I know you didn’t choose to be born. You didn’t choose us or this life. However, let’s see how best to make this work.
· You will probably be born a girl. But you can choose whatever gender you want to be. Be yourself and be content in your skin.
· You can choose to break glass ceilings, wear glass slippers or do both or neither.
· Coming into this world you are breaking the archaic rules of gender, race and nationality. Never consider any of this to be a disadvantage to you. Your dad and I are both Indians but the places we went and the experiences we have had are bound less. May nationality, race or gender never stop you from whom you want to be.
· Like with your sister, we will never discuss what religion or caste you come from. We will not decide for you if you should eat meat, be vegetarian or believe in a “higher power”. It is for you to choose. Feel free to experiment and remember no decision is ultimate.
· As a family we have a core value – we love the environment, this world we live in. We want to preserve it and contribute less to global warming. So, being part of our family comes with a few struggles. For example, using less air conditioning, reusing clothes and toys, buying less and taking the bus. Don’t worry, your sister got plenty of hand me downs herself. Your sister has finally mastered the art of 4 squares of toilet paper for poop, 6 for sticky poop and 2 for pee. She is also learning the bum shower. We will ask her to show you the ropes.
· As a family we have another core value – treating each other with kindness and respect and using strong polite tones to show disagreement. But this again is everyone’s core value, really doesn’t matter a mention.
· We do not believe in success in the traditional sense – money, education or power. You define success for yourself. Remember our acceptance of your life is immaterial. I want to write it here because I don’t know how I will change in the future. But try not to be wasteful.
· Last one. Yes, you were not in our ten or twenty-year plan, but you happened. Like some of the other best things in my life. Your father was not in my plan either, but he is truly the best thing that ever happened to me. I want you to understand that you are cherished and loved.
Welcome to our family. I cannot promise you happiness and fun (that is for your making), but I can promise you our love. The three of us are looking forward to this adventure. I hope you are too… There are some good parts, just ask your sister 😊
