"Well, you know thats why I want to get an arm job done!!" a voice boomed from the hallway when my boss and I were trying to have a quiet introspection on a "matter". I pretended not to hear it but my boss couldnt hold his laughter in. The other "jobs" are liveable compared to this one. The perfection towards size is getting out of hand. There has to be a story that led my sane friend into taking this decision.
Her six year old niece, a darling beyond compare, while happily rocking on her grandma's comfortably corpulent thigh was playing happily with her fleshy arm slightly loosened by age. When she got to the upper arm, just above her elbow the girl turned all doe eyed and put on her extra cute voice and inquired; just out of curiosity..."Gramma, why does this place look like a cow's neck?". Age and grief caught on my friend who was witnessing this horror leading her to think "I inherited everything bad from my mom and had absolutely no control over them. Now I have a chance atleast try to protect myself against bratty grandchildren".
Kids do say the darnest of things, dont they? One of the hybrid kids that I know, born to a girl of a remote Iyer origin and an Irish guy is unbelievably cute. Thats where Darwin's distance theory of farther the species are from each other, better the offsprings makes sense. He has dark hair from his mom, blue eyes from his dad and an olive skin from his paternal grampa. This angel on earth looks like he cannot harm a fly. Just that he is extremely honest. My friend wanting to live up to the Indian culture and tradition sincerely did the navarathri routine and took him along wherever she went. At the end of the season, when they were visitng the second last golu, Nick piped.."Mommy, why do you have to sing that particular song every time before we eat the beans??". Now thats a sincere attempt to learn the culture. Except- wrongly timed.
Here is the last one. My dad has an ugly habit of singing right into a sleeping being's ear. Its usually a screeching "Murugunai kumbitu murai ita peruku" or a "kadaithanil thoongiyavan vetri ezhanthan" that could sap all the fun out of a saturday morning 9:00 AM sleep. U.S doesnt do anything to change those habits nor do the presence of grandchildren. Unknowingly, a similar one came out while the all-enduring and smiling adhav was sleeping to glory nestled in appa's lap. My dad immediately bit his tongue for fear of waking him up and being tormented by his cries. Having taken over his father's genes, Adhav rolled over and put his hands to his ears, blocked out the ugly surrounding and continued his beauty sleep. He is a four month old by the way.
So if you want to hear the honest opinion on questions like, "Do you think I look fat?" or "Do you think this song suits my voice?" ask the smallest one in the family. I would say, "Go for the arm job!"
