Hmmm

The exhaustive rush from the green-house to lab to the friday morning seminar made me miss my morning coffee. Promptly, my friend brought me a mug to the seminar. The coffee was just perfect. From the temperature to the mix of decaf to Columbian blend, no one could have gotten it so right. Thats when I thought of this.

Another night, three girls bunked together trying to make my friend come out of depression. We watched Sex and the city, grey's anatomy and Private practise over oreo cookies and avacado smoothie till four A.M. Probably not the most unhealthy way of coming out of a relationship. But what the hec, atleast she did not have to take seratonin. We continued the ritual till she could gradually move to "out-door" activities or people.

About recently, an hour of empty, cheesy conversation with my best friend across the seas made me break out my week-long unknown monotony and PMSs.

One of my best memories from college, is taking walks. We used to wait until we loaded our "gel" which would technically take about 45 minutes to "run". We would delve into a little escape into the backyards of our college. The college I did my Post grad in did not have a green campus. But behind the buildings was pretty much wild. I dont think we were allowed to go there. We would sit on a little water tank, and talk. They were the most brilliant conversations I have ever had. We did not talk about people, places or career plans. It would just be thoughts. We would almost reach a schizophrenic state of self-realization with the warm Madras sun on our necks and a bottle of powdery chocolate milk. Looking back I can feel the warmth on my cheecks and twinkle in my eyes that came just from those talks.

Here it is. Raising a toast to all my girl friends who form the thickest whipped cream layer!

Change....

"How has marriage changed you?" In answer I would retort with a stupid joke like I dont have to steer my hang baggage into the restroom everytime when we travel. But in truth, it has changed me a lot. I feel different. I feel secure and grounded. I feel like there will not be anymore self inflicted roller coaster rides, and even if all the time I dont feel like I am on the top I wouldnt keep noticing how hard it is to be at the bottom.

I dont yearn for approval from anyone, even him. I know I have his. I wake up everyday feeling beautiful, even if he is not around to tell me that. I cook a stash of food and store it away, without the slightest thought of how it is going to taste. It doesnt matter. I still like my taste in clothes, movies and my opinions on the world and now I say it louder. Maybe I was a highly insecure person before marriage and thats why the change. Maybe its too soon to say I am happily married, but I am bursting inside and I cannot keep it anymore.

Wedding bells!!!!

I have a time course experiment running with an all day-all night long, free time to do whatever I want. So here goes an account of recent observations. dont sleep on me, pls.

Situation 1:
Girl seems extremely handicapped and her husband acts as if he could be next advisor to Obama. Girl- thrilled that her husband owns a Japanese car (psst...she doesnt know the loan balance yet), says "alrighty then" when he hangs up the phone and orders "baked bean burrito- NO MEAT" with style and grace. He suddenly starts having all three meals a day (HAHAHA cynical laugh). Girl thinks Guy is charming intelligent and interesting. He should be, his profile says he treks, loves long distant drives, camping, bikes, loves surfing (does he actually surf or just likes watching it???!!!) and most of all cooks. Now which Indian male does that?
Yes, I am being extremely cynical of marriages across oceans happening over the phone. My only problem is that still most Indian women dont have one with this set up. If someone can tell me, dont worry they are great, or if these girls could tell me "We were totally prepared for this" I wouldnt buy it. Well, all relationships survive past hurdles or are really made of them, but the typified arranged marriaged USPS shipped Indian women mostly seem to have extravagant ideas, not of United states per say, but of the men they are marrying. Their parents are no exception.

ok now, Situation2:
"Well, 25% of the smart women are either married or engaged, another 25% dont want to date me or I dont want to date (cos they are too smart for me to handle or are Carrie Bradshaw types), the other 25%, am hoping exist". Does this sound cliche? Have you heard it from too many of your guy friends who just use euphemism to say I am a loser? ;-). Well, I dont mean that, I respect this category more than the above. I have started to hear a lot of this from the Indian women folk too. A part of me is extremely happy, yes we are getting there. But I get annoyed when i hear a comment like "Have you seen the way he puts his hand on his hips while waiting, its too gay and I dont think I can continue this relationship." Well yeah literally! This is the crowd who are always in search of Mr/Ms.Right (ppl,dont say look who is talking), have commitment problems, love being alone, cannot share ward robes or cannot stand the other's furniture taste. Well being alone, I can see how people get there. So my empathies with them!

Situation3: (my favourite)
Guy meets girl in school/college/is neighbour/is cousin's friend/friend's cousin/29C/sarang ..., they get along really well, somewhere down the line (or in the beginning itself) a spark happens, they think they are made for each other, survive hardships, fight for their relationship at home, survive long distances and then get married. O.k, I can see eye brows raised. Why I envy this relationship so much is because they know no one other than each other, have grown to adjust with everything, from the beginning have over-looked petite flaws, most of all realise what you are in for (atleast these days) and still stick on to it. Do these relationships even exist these days?

situation 4:

Ahem.. this is the dangerous part. Broken, beaten, "grown, matured" individuals, meet, have great admiration for one another, explore relationship hurdles, have similar life styles, goals and are ambitious. I would like to quote janani (http://justlovelife.blogspot.com/2008/11/finding-and-keeping-life-partner.html) here and are in love with each other...well what more could you ask for? and by the way why is it the dangerous part?

Way too many people think they know it all when they start a marriage..so that idea is more dangerous than the unknown.

So thats to the skeptical me. It is all the fault of United states of A. I used to believe in frog prince, sleeping beauty and beuty and the beast! really!